Your tits are I can't wait for
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
this hospital has no fireball
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
