Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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