Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
