he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
