you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
