Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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