Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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