yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
