I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
