carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
