I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize