I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
