you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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