And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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