I think i peed on brittanys purse
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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