True but thats because hes a fetus.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
