I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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