If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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