Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Sober January is a disaster.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
