I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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