zippers are such a cool invention
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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