yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
