I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
