I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
