somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
