DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
