your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
