CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize