I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
