Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
