I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
third nipple confirmed
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
