True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
