we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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