I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she smelled like a LAN party
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
