Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
