can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
