On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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