I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
