i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
