Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
