I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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