garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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