see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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