Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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