Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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