I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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