Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
