I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
