You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
