i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize