You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
