dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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