I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
