i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
