so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
