Welp...herpes.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
