hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
