maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he shaved USA in his pubs
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
