When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
