do herpes really smell.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
