distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
