is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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