If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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