I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
