Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
