yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
false alarm, still single
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize