dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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