I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
